Prepping for Guido’s birthday and superbowl.

We drove to Jersey and we were there from 11:30- 4:30 and it was such a nice escape from the city.

Shopping cart surfing

Twerking in the isle of the wine store

Suburban Starbucks run

Hip Hop, R&B, Bad Bunny through the speakers

Quick nap in the backseat

All of this much needed.

Last night I cried for an hour in the dark to Ben about feeling scared and volatile. And he responded with what if one wish for today. I said my gut reaction was joy but I feared it was too big of a hope. And he said “How can your feel joy with hate in your heart.” I feel like this is something I would think is obvious and maybe heard once in childhood, in the portable classrooms, at my Christian elementary school. But to have my husband offer this to me at an extremely vulnerable time and it not feel like a criticism or judgement was just what I needed. And I am so thankful he is my person. I am so thankful for the people we claim as our inner circle. I am so thankful for our home. I am so thankful for all the individuals who have sacrificed and invested in me.

Today was needed.

I felt joy.

We found the wine for our second year wedding anniversary and maybe it felt like a sign. To not stop looking or trying. To stick to what I believe in. It will find me and I will find it when it is meant for me.

The rest of the bullshit- just let it go.