Shouldn’t I feel confident in finances by now.

I feel ill- physically sick.

Sharing with Ben I needed help with my student loans - meaning could he pay them for me and I am late. I gave him the opportunity and he was kind and gentle. But that almost made it worse. I feel embarrassed.

I think being right up next to such a traditional carrier path sheds light on my insecurity around my fluid life path.

I know comparison is the route of a lot of distress.

I think there is alot of insecurity that I still don’t feel I have a clear path and it is stifling - in getting a side job in wanting him to be proud of me.