- From Notes (Cancun 1.30.24)-

I dance the night away. Woke up hungover at 3:44am and sat in silence next to the man who has provided me everything. Moments pass of jealousy wanting to give this life to myself and thankfulness the only sacrifice is all of me to get me here.

In New York the pattern has become running. Late at night dissapearing and I love it. Maybe it is the feeling of running, fleeing controlling that my night is over and no one can stop me but that they can yern for me and want me to stay. But here in corperate paradise I stayed…

I danced. I drank. I had people fall in love with me. and I stayed.

There is pride in this small moment. It is not me in NY or the people it is litterally that I want to dance. I want to sweat. and if the night includes standing around and staring at drunk people I would rather be in my home watching Netflix.

My favorite moment of the night…

Ben panicked, “Babe, I stuck my tongue out and I don’t know if I took a pepcid or ecstasy.”

Me cackling, “I don’t even know how to respond to this.”

Today

I want to start packing

I want to nap

I want to eat chicken nuggets by the pool

I want to take pictures

and then we have dinner with people I actually like

Looking to be a simple and pleasant day